Friday, July 11, 2008

The joke where you ask to make a withdrawal never get old. Never.

I had the complete opposite outcome when I went to the blood bank yesterday. Not only did they gladly take it, they discovered its properties are so desired that they pretty much asked me if it would be okay if they harvest a few more pints to top off some of their tanks. It was like going to Jiffy Lube if the Lube were to take the oil out it out your healthy car and give it to one that had been in an accident. Actually, it's nothing like Jiffy Lube.

I can’t ever remember what it is about my blood that so good but they always want moar and they call the house hours after the 56 day waiting period is over asking if they can get another taste. I assume it’s because I have too much. The other donors were given a box of juice and some cookies. They gave me, and this is all true, three bags of cookies, orange juice, a Boost protein shake, one of those towels with the hooks for your golf bag, a canvas satchel with the name of the hospital on it and two stress relief balls shaped like Finding Nemo. They want my blood that much.

Also unlike C, the nurses had no qualms about talking about menstruation. I was inquiring about iron deficiencies and what someone could eat to raise their levels. The winners:

1. Oysters
2. Clams
3. Liver
4. Blackstrap molasses, for some reason.

Oyster-Liver-Molasses puree. It’s what’s for anemic dinner.

Anyblah, I also asked the nurse why women are more likely to have a low iron count and she said, with no sense of bashfulness, IT’S BECAUSE WOMEN ARE ALWAYS LOSING BLOOD ALWAYS BECAUSE THEIR PERIODS ARE ALWAYS ALL THE TIME!!1! And that most women are wanting for molasses.

So give blood, eat plenty of clams and have nice weekend.

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