Y'all ready for this?

We need a new Monk or Davis or G because jazz is about to lose its crown as the preeminent American art form.

Right now, it goes...

1. Jazz
2. Stadium pregame player introductions
3. Dinner theater
   
4. Radio commercials featuring two people talking to each other about buying jewelry

I’ve been to Europe and seen soccer games. Both teams come out holding hands with little kids in an attempt to teach fair play or some crap. They take a team picture holding a scarf or something and then play.

I’ve been to Asia and seen Ultimate Frisbee games in Tiananmen Square, basketball in the Forbidden City and that game where you play volleyball with a wicker ball and feet. They didn’t do any sort of pregame introduction.

And I’ve been the Charlottesville and had my friend yell at me because I was walking too slowly and we were going to miss the pregame introductions. We saw a specially made animation of a man with an ironic mustache on a horse shoot bees with his sword, lasers, some sort of sled that shoots 2 foot flames and a blimp. And this was just to watch crappy Georgia Tech smoke ever crappier UVA after being down 13 at half.

The only thing close to this on the international level is the opening ceremony at the Olympics or any event in North Korea. And the Olympics only does it impress their masters at NBC. It also hasn’t been cool since that Spanish guy used his bow and arrow to light the cauldron.

So, unless we can beat flaming arrows, I think the US needs to dial it down a notch. Halftime shows featuring Tom Petty are still acceptable, however, and encouraged.