I've been West

FRIDAY: I ended up watching "Mad Max" at BP w/ GIRLZ, slouching at the bar to avoid bunches of the elbow-throwing-pleated-skirt clad faction and a guy who couldn't speak English, but wanted me to get him a Corona? I think? Dunno. Topic of Conv (besides Mel Gibson): Coastal Carolina University. Chanticleers; I know LOTS of you who started as freshmen, I know no one with an actual degree from your fine institution. What gives? There's at least 6 of you from my HS days that are in their 30s, and still bartender-ing/cosmetology-ing in the greater Wilmington area. Fess up, it's not what you planned when you declared your majors as "marine biology."

SATURDAY: So, every year, someone holds a day long food fest out in the Maryland farmland. It usually involves floatation devices, a tractor, homemade brew, and a trampoline. And crabs.

HIGHLIGHT REEL 05: - Misc. extra involvement of above, + an oversized golf set, a go-cart made from lawnmower parts, and a viking helmet. So that's what I did on Saturday. Although I did not ride the go-kart before there was a POLICE CITATION issued.

- I partook in some sweet ass cheerleading moves on the trampoline without pulling any groin muscles (a first)

- And I wore an airbrushed teeshirt the likes of which no one in the blogosphere has ever really witnessed. It's pretty fucking sweet, and involves a unicorn. A unicorn with arose in it's mouth. Prancing on the beach. At sunset. Next to a palm tree. Just take my word for it, it's awesome, and goes especially well with a sombrero.

- Oh yeah - I also had a conversation with Jess about how duct tape can remove warts. Seriously, try it! The Nabob prefers to shank them out with fingernail clippers.

- Also, we had Kline's, brought to us over many hours of road travel via cooler, nestled between 7-11 ice and beer.

SUNDAY: You may have gathered that I am obsessed with dogs. So, we went out and visited a really handsome man-dog with floppy ears, and now we have to make a decision whether to get a new roommate, in dog form.

Cons: We're not home as much as is responsible for a dog owner, so this might require a change in lifestyle. Also, he isn't perfect with the peeing yet.

Pros: He specifically requested to watch a lot of E! television with me, and play with tennis balls, and beating the everliving crap out of those small, pussy dogs.

WHAT??? STEP. He's bred to fight BEARS.

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Okay, that's it. Oh yeah, and I saw "Wedding Crashers." Really.

Since I am uninteresting, go look at this instead.