Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My New Sunshine Policy

The list of places I’ll never go keeps getting longer…

- Wedding on the Pakistan/Afghanistan border
- Overcrowded Indonesian/Philippine ferry
- Hindu pilgrimage near steep cliffs
- Haitian elementary schools
- Hot Topics

I’m actively going out of my way to know and learn nothing about the Twilight. I refuse to participate in any public discussion on the matter. There are probably reasons to like it. There are probably more reasons to mock it. It seems that most people like to hate on it. I know that the G read one of the books. And she told me some of the basics about it.

She’s like “So there’s this pale girl and some more pale vampire and a werewolf maybe and they have some forbidden love. And then one the vampires…” But I stopped her before she could add further details.

I must remind the world that I was aggressively mocked for taking the day off to see both Underworld and Underworld 2: The Werewolf KooKajoo. In fact, the abuse was so intense the G had to use up a sick day from her job as a Sotheby’s auctioneer because her voice was raspy and dry. And yet, the plots between these two films (and the Kate Beckinsale-less Underworld prequel coming out soon) and Twilight sound exactly the same.

You can all go to hell.

Anyway, the commercials make the movie look like a huge sack of crap. And I ought to know since my exposure to huge sacks of crap has increased 100 fold over the last 2 months. And I don’t also don’t understand how NPR allowed it to be the underwriter of some of their segments. But I'm not paying attention to any of that.

So have fun this weekend, jerks, seeing your teenage vampire movie that I don't know anything about except Kate Beckinsale is not having sex in it.

3 comments:

Tom said...

My position on the movie is similar -- it looks like The Covenant, except not as promising (which says damning things about both the movie and my own taste).

Emily and I didn't see the Underworld movies in the theater, but it's safe to say that we're fans. For a while we were working our way through as much werewolf/vampire related media as possible (although we didn't get to Ginger Snaps or Blood & Chocolate, both of which I'm sort of curious about).

tracy said...

You need a Wedding Company in the Sunshine State of Florida.

theg said...

dear tracy. kindly do me a favor and stop fucking spamming us with your weird wedding bullshit that makes me want to slit my own throat kthx.