Sunday, November 01, 2009


Dear Rudest Piece of Crap in the Entire Universe;

The risk of throwing parties is that people like you show up. It's the liability when living in an awesome house that is perfect for parties - with a big shindig, the random dregs of society filter in from the streets. People steal, they have sex in bathrooms, they eat your breakfast food, costume-less assholes no one knows attempt to sexually torment women. It sucks, but it happens. There's always a few of you to ruin an otherwise really fun night.

Let's get one thing straight. If I was around when you grabbed my partner-in-crime's breasts and said one of the stupidest things known to fucking mankind, I would have hit you and you would have deserved it. Well, truthfully probably just caused a scene verbally, because I don't know how to throw a decent punch.

And because you were a woman, it makes the whole thing ... maybe less ominous? But only maybe. And certainly more more infuriating. Perhaps you thought you were being "wacky drunk girl." Instead, what you were being was a total fucking nightmare of a human being. So, good job on being a sexual predator.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you were dressed as, because she wouldn't rat you out (what an unbelievably kind gesture, consider it Halloween charity) which is a shame because I would love to share a few of my choice thoughts. You epically suck! How's that for starts?

Otherwise, a toast to Fickeween once more. I always love a throwdown that has Beam, 95% fantastic people, knitted Brain Slug hats, and polite and orderly lines for the bathroom.


matt f said...

Ack, sorry about that. Should have been keeping a closer eye on things, there seemed to be more people than usual who really needed to get booted out. Hope this didn't sour the whole night.

Nice work with the costuming, btw. You two were definitely the glowingest folks on the dance floor.

the g said...

oh jeez, not your fault at all. apparently some people didn't learn like, basic preschool rules of NOT TOUCHING.

the Nabob said...

What? There was inappropriate ass and tat grabbing resulting in people getting rolled and I missed it? What was I doing?

Oh right. Counting how many people fell down the back steps.

There were 13.