Los Angeles 1985

1. The dog loves the Nabob more than me. I'm okay with this, because he has the softest ears I've ever touched.*

2. I just finished reading Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters, and I highly reccommend it to anyone with a soul. It will take you an hour or two to read, so it's perfect for a lazy afternoon at the beach getting the top layer of your epidermis sizzled while drinking a warm n sandy PBR. The first chapter is one of the more accurate descriptions of Los Angeles I've ever read, and it made me miss Hollywood- seedy, dirty, foggy, and in terrific bad taste. What it did not make me miss was Burbank, because Burbank is a hard place to miss. Anyways, read this book, it's been rereleased with a few new additions since it's original publication in the '80s. The best part of this: I put down "Kavalier & Clay" to read this instead. I'm hopeless, people.

3. I read somewhere else, at my secret favorite blog, about what said person's mom almost named her. It was pretty rad. Did you know my parents almost named me Whitney Meg? For REAL though. Wow. If my mom had married a guy named Jeff Cross 35 or so years ago, my name would be Whitney M. Cross, and I'd probably be REALLY angry at the world, and have a death-threat list written in bubble script inside my pink diary, instead of just slightly miffed just being me.

4. The next person to send me a real life email gets a prize, like maybe a painting of abraham lincoln or something. Every email I've gotten in the past 48 hours has been neutral/bad news. Also, I'm bored. Why is August so damn slow, internets? You can send me anything - new music I need to listen to? (no math rock or fusion jazz.) New movies I need to see?

5. I'm sending out an Evite in FIVE MINUTES to whoever is interested in playing hooky with me tomorrow. Seriously, I'm calling in sick. So, those of you interested in playing with me and my dog all morning in an Arlington dog park, and then getting coffee, and then maybe watching "The Office" dvds in my basement or seeing "Grizzly Man," OOOOORRRR just laying out in my backyard drinking rum and getting tan**, start fake coughing now. Okay TEN MINUTES.

* The dog, not the Nabob.
** Most likely scenario. Also, I have brie.